Alf is back (or still here) to answer more of YOUR questions! This week: what’s the strangest question Alf has ever been asked? And where do clothes come from?
Sometimes I like to hide the hackey sack somewhere in the Rehab just to see how angry Buddy gets when he can’t find it. Then I realize he’s trashing all my carefully sorted trays of specialty teas and I regret doing it… again! See I always forget he does that. I always remember the good chuckle at the start, never the horrible rampage at the end.
Last week I had a box of specialty questions set aside to answer this week. They were all on the topic of Magog Motors’ security expenses – real specialty stuff, finest quality, y’know? But then I went and hid Bud’s skipping rope because I thought it would be funny. And all those questions were never seen again.
So have a random assortment of questions!
(None of your questions have been lost, by the way, don’t let a fun story get you worried.)
Taylor: dear alf everyone knows you’re the question guy on oddworld, any oddworld related questions you have an answer for. I was wondering what was the strangest question you have ever been asked during your time?
Alf: That’s me, the Question Guy! Also known as the Answer Chump, the Reply Pal and the Information Master. All these job titles are listed on my business teabag. Here, take a few and pass them to your friends. The strangest question I’ve ever been asked is what I use to wash my ponytail. I’ll never get over quite how creepy that was!
and the dumbest question you have been asked? I was wondering if they are around on your blog where can I find them?
Alf: Look, I ain’t one to point fingers, you! I’m not gonna turn our beautiful community of amazing fans into a hunt for what you find laughable! There’s no stupid questions in the sanctuary of Alf’s Rehab & Tea. Now go and think about what you’ve done, afore I throw cookies at ya!
chiggerskido: Hey Alf, how ya doing? I was just wondering, if you or a fellow Mudokon ever came across a human being, how would you react? I guess you could get Abe to fart them away and never return, but i’m sure you’d be nice, right?
Alf: You guys don’t like farts? Eep, I gotta go tell Abe this. He’s got an important meeting at the Human Embassy right steefin’ now! Oh no. Oh no, this is not good.
groble: #DearAlf is there a three legged odd creature? With one big back leg and two small front legs?
Alf: Yeah, a Vykker.
BAR: Dear Crig and Alf, where do Glukkon clothes come from, did the Glukkons make those clothes themselves?
Alf: Yeah sure, I can just see a Glukkon daintily sewing up an outfit of its own design, dextrously threading the needle and putting on all the buttons with unrivalled hand-eye coordi- wait, what-eye coordination?? Come on now. Most Glukkon clothes are stitched together by slaves in a factory – have you really not figured out this is how everything’s made yet? Some of the very richest Glukks might be able to afford the height of fashion custom made for ’em, though. But what self-respecting CEO doesn’t want their outfit made from the blood, sweat and bones of a savagely oppressed native nation?
GamingAtSea: #DearAlf Sorry Alf, someone hacked my account. Here’s my real question; What’s with Abe pretending he’s at Rupture Farms again? Is he crazy?
Alf: Quite possibly, but that’s got nothing to do with it. It’s all about stories! Abe hasn’t really gone back to RuptureFarms… at least not yet. We’re retelling the story of Abe’s escape from the company retirement plan, like storytellers of old would entertain their audience around the campfire with tales they’d heard before. The details would change over time, but the story stays the same. And now we’re using the latest technology, like the latest edition of a book would take advantage of improvements to printing technology. So don’t worry, you’re not caught in a time loop, Molluck has reopened the factory, and Abe’s not that feeble of mind. Probably.
Hey, in case I didn’t make it obvious enough, I ain’t lost any of your questions, OK? Everything you’ve sent me is sitting safely waiting for that perfect weekly theme, the most appropriate news to coordinate with, its own unique chance to shine like nothing else!
See you next week for another Fan Art Tuesday and more Dear Alf!