Dear Alf #55: That What Ain’t

Alf takes a breather from all the things coming your way to talk about all the things that AREN’T coming your way.
magog-mugs-feat

Holy Flatulence, did you see that trailer? I’ve been with Abe since the start, since we were toilin’ in RuptureFarms together with buckets and pliars. But I ain’t ever seen nuthin’ that made it seem so real and beautiful. And your response has been incredible, fervent (and only slightly scary), and that’s why we love you guys so very, very much.

With so much exciting stuff comin’ yur way, I thought I’d take li’l step back from what’s happenin’ and talk about some stuff that ain’t happenin’! Not any way ya look at it, bubs.

Brandon: are meeches really extinct? like for reals? #DearAlf

Alf: It’s hard for some chumps to accept change and loss. Look, I get it. I once lost a stinky job in a meat factory. I was lost in the desert for a whole day at one point. I recently lost the key to one of my store cupboards and the smell seepin’ from there is really startin’ a drive the patrons away. But we gotta learn that these things are lost forever and that we have to adapt. I’ll never get that day back. I’ll never suffer in a factory again. I’m gonna need to buy a lotta air fresheners. It won’t be easy and it won’t be instant, but we need to get ya to learn: Meeches are gone forever. Sorry, bro. It’s just how extinction works.

DrunkenFool: I haven’t seen Meetles/Mugs around. What happened to them?

Alf: Well they ain’t extinct for sure, but they ain’t exactly common either. The places y’all have probably been looking for ’em are likely wrong. If the Vykkers or Glukkons have been about, all them Meetle grubs will have been taken away for experiments or repurposing respectively. And if the factories you’re lookin’ at are really just little far-flung Outer Rim underfunded startups by financial noobodies, they ain’t gonna be guarded by Mugs. So that’s what happened to ’em and why you ain’t seen ’em yet.

Nikki: Do vegetarian Scrabs exist?

Alf: Hahaha, you got some spooced out concepts shakin’ it up in yur brain cavern. Oh Muddy, that little number’s gonna keep me laughing all through winter! Vegetarian Scrab, HA!

Daniel: Hey Alf! What is the situation on Mudos now that the Magog Cartel is failed?

Alf: Dude, look out the freakin’ window! There are factories entrenched tick-like across the landscape, natives enslaved in every corner of the continent, vast tracts of the world rendered uninhabitantable by centuries of devastation, and the billionaires are laughing from their sunlit offices and penthouses. You go up to the Magog Cartel HQ and throw a jeer at it, see for yourself how failed they’re feelin’ right now.

Azileks: And lastly where can I acquire the A.L.I.V.E. engine?

Alf: That’s not really something you can get yer hands on, because it’s not something we’ve made available, freely or otherwise. Plenty of reasons why. That said, there’s a bunch of really dedicated fans out there who have spent hours of their free time rigging together tools that let you make changes to Abe’s Oddysee and Abe’s Exoddus. Effectively they’ve made a level editor! Go run a few queries on your search engine o’ choince and check it out! Now if we went and released the A.L.I.V.E. Engine now we’d be wasted all that hard work o’ theirs, and that’d just be rude.

Rui: alf you could create an oddworld game with characters from my little pony

Alf: No.

That’s enough negativity for this week’s session. Let’s call it there and get back to some more positive stuff when we next meet. Until then, keep sendin’ those questions in! Stay short and sweet on Twitter by using the hashtag #DearAlf, or turn to Facebook with your longer questions, or just plain drop a comment below. More of your questions and my answers next Friday, and more Fan Art on Tuesday. Keep it Odd!