Hello! Hi. Hey there. Yo! First time at Alf’s Rehab and Tea? Well you’re in for it! Best decision you’ll ever regret making this week, but don’t worry – we’ll be here, makin’ sure you don’t sip another brew the whole time. You’re a regular? Ehhh, sit down and shaddap.
This week we get a little hypothetical, a little philosophical. Get those brains of yours thinkin’ and crankin’ – you might need those imaginations to stretch beyond your craniums!
Alilly Greco: Can I mate with Stranger?
Alf: What is this, Match.com? Stranger’s a free Steef – just as much of a free bird as you are. We’re not just auctioning him off here – he’s no Mudokon slave. But if you’re asking about logistics of having a Steef’s child? It depends on a few things. Is it legal in your country to mate with a Steef? Must you be married first? And is your body equipped to hold a Steef embryo? What is the birthing process like for your species hybridized with a Steef’s? These are some things to look into. Check with your local Vykker for details.
Ricardo: Why are Sligs called Sligs and Glukkons called Glukkons?
Alf: A Slig is a Slig because it’s a Slig. And a Glukkon’s a Glukkon because it’s a Glukkon. You’re a Ricardo because that’s what Ricardos are, amirite? But would the beating of Slig feel so brutal if a Slig went by any other name? Would Glukkons’ greed be so solipsistic if they weren’t called Glukkons? Would Meech Munchies be as delicious if we called them Fart Flurries? Is anybody listening? Is this thing on?
@DJWolf9000: #DearAlf Can you say what’s the real name of Stranger? And who was that octopus that was controlling the Sekto?
Alf: I’d love to tell ya what the real name of Stranger was but I don’t know it! He’s a stranger, a lone ranger… a masked Steef. He’s no “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named”… he just likes his privacy and probably has some trust issues. But what’s in a name? If you knew his name would that change how you feel about him? Maybe we love him because we don’t know too much about him… hmmm? (As for the octopus that was controlling the Sekto… that was Sekto. Sekto’s an oktigi who was using the Olden Steef’s body as a host to execute his villainous plans.)
Ok. My brains are hurting. I’m not so good at pushing the limits of the great wonders of the Oddworld Universe. I should stick to what I know. I need my fez. WHERE’S MY FEZ? It’s on my head? Hmph.
It’s been fun, y’all. Let’s do this again. Same time, next week? Friday? Tweet me your questions @OddworldInc with my very own hashtag #DearAlf (beautiful, isn’t it?) or send me a message on Facebook!
Until next time, stay off the brew, will ya?