Dear Alf #30

You ask for it, Alf sort of sends this thing that vaguely resembles a reply and almost never directly relates to an answer … But that’s why we love him. Take a gamble and send your questions to the old Alfster… you might get a reply! Just remember that the odds are always with the house, or in this case, the rehab!

They say the only dumb question is the one that doesn’t get asked. Well, I beg to differ. The dumb question is the one that gets asked OVER AND OVER AGAIN! So, before you write, check our list of Most Frequently Asked Questions.

Q:   Hey Alf, I gotta question (obviously). In the end of Abe’s Oddysee, Shrykull fries everbody in the Magog Cartel conference room. If they are all dead, how can they still be terrorizing Oddworld? —SLIGcatcher.

Alf:  One word: Progeny. NEXT!

Q: HI Alf it is me Grant hows life on oddworld? thank you for repling to my last e mail i just whant to know were did Elum and how are those greddy glukins so dangers if they do not have arms or wepons? Oh one more thing do you know what the next oddwold game be called and when is it comeing out? your odd friend —Grant

Alf: Life on Oddworld is sublime and I am loving it. Elum is out to pasture and the Glukkons use the most terrifying weapon known to Muds… their wallets! And I know nothing of the next Oddworld game, except that there is one.

Q:  I haven’t played Munch’s Oddysee – I haven’t got an XBox – but I have read what I can about it. I’ve noticed in one review that at one point you get chased by a herd of scrabs. A herd of scrabs?! Shouldn’t a herd of scrabs rapidly become a smaller herd of full scrabs and then down to one exceedingly fat scrabs? Mind you, there must be some way that they can interact peacefully in order to procreate. I’m really curious to find out more. Please enlighten me. …(“-“)

Alf:  Well the procreation doesn’t have to be peaceful. Of course in our fairy tale minds we want it to be but it isn’t always so. As you may know creatures often act completely different in large groups. The larger the group, the stranger things get. Hey, wait a minute, why haven’t you played Munch’s Oddysee? I don’t have time for this drivel! Poof! Be gone!

Q:  Hello Alf! What about a re-release of Abe’s Oddysee, and Abe’s Exoddus on Xbox, so i can toss my old Playstation away!??? Thanks for a great games series!!! Hi from a big fan in Norway! (“,)

Alf:  Great idea! I will tell Bill. Cheers Norway!

Q:   Wazzup Alfie my brotha! I got a few questions for ya to answer–if its not to much trouble for ya! Enjoy!
Signed, oDdAnT

1.What kind of Natural Resources are there down in OddWorld?

Alf:   We’ve got fossil fuels, water, dirt, plants and spooce. All kinds of great stuff that you could live off of for centuries. Barring any money-mongering industrialists, that is.

2.How come just about every industrail character works for the Glukkons? 

Alf:   Glukkons are very powerful. Not the most powerful, but it’s kinda like the top of the food chain. Or the high rungs on the corporate ladder. Or the pointier part of the pyramid system. They’re almost at the top, so most of the others are working for them, in some form or another.

3.If you wanted to make a t-shirt with OddWorld’s logo’s and stuff on it, do we need to get your permission and how? 

Alf:   Do I look like Matlock to you? This is Dear Alf, not some courtroom drama show. Send legal a note at fanlegal@Oddworld.com

4.Is there big giant oceans in OddWorld and can you ~possibly~ show them in the next game?

Alf:   Yup and Maybe, respectively.

5.What sports are in OddWorld?

Alf:  Great question. We’ve got the normal stuff, you know, Meep Tossing, LaCross the Scrab Herd, Running, Sneaking, Spooceball, etc….

Q:   O.k., so that’s more than a few questions ~sorry~ but please respond back to them! ttyl! bye!

Alf:   Don’t be sorry, be odd… and STAY ODD!

Q:   Dear Alf, My question is while I was browsing the Oddworld site i stumbled upon a picture that said Fud TV. What is Fud TV? And, unless it appeared in an earlier game and I missed it, will it appear in the next game? One of your biggest fans, Mike

Alf:   Mike, FUD TV is the station that unearthed The Bones-Brew Connection and attempted to make it public knowledge. The circumstances surrounding their success and their whereabouts remain in question.

Q:   dear alf I know im just an ant in a world of things to you, but as a fan i wonder so much about the next odd world game. and im sure you get tons of e-mails about it, and magazines bothering you like crazy, and what not. i just think tomyself… what could be cooking up for the next game. i havent herd a single thing about it. does it invalve munch? is it funny like munch’s oddessy…. or kinda darker like odd abb’s 2 tittles. well i cant wait to know. keep up the wonderful work. and let the fans here to good word!! thank you. —John

Alf:  John! You are not an ant! A slimy, light-fearing cockroach maybe, but not an ant! As for the next game it is still in the oven. Did you see the Discovery special? You really have to check it out, it’s all the rage.

Q:   To Whom it May Concern: I hope I sent this request to the right address; I was wondering who was the voice actor for the Sligs in Munch’s Odyssee? I realize he acted for several characters in the game. I traded Odyssee last year so I couldn’t look up the credits, but I still remember his work on the game and a few words came to mind: entertaining, humorous, and talented! I hope he will be available to make a contribution to your upcoming games for the Xbox. Thanks for your time! Sincerely, Brian

Alf:   Brian, I really hope that he can contribute to the upcoming games as well, because the voice talent for the Sligs was none other than our very own Lorne Lanning, President and Creative Director of Oddworld Inhabitants. He’s the brain behind ALL of this crazy stuff!

Q: “Yo alf i was just thinken with Munch around will oddworld be the same Oddworld is never the same, always different, always Odd!

Alf:  All I can say is it’s probably going to get Stranger.

Q:   Hey,I was wondering why you aren’t going to put Oddworld out on Playstaion because the first two games are on Playstation? And when are some of the Oddworld movies going to come out? And for my final question, When you sign up with the fan club do they send you mail like letters or do they send you E-mail. Oh YEAH!One more question, how longdoes it take for the mail to come? thanks,Alf!

Alf:  Munch’s Oddysee was an Xbox exclusive because the Xbox has superior harware capabilities and is easier to program for. If you want a more detailed explanation, you can look up the November 2000 archives for a statement from our President and CEO.

I don’t know when the movies will come out. Could be a while, though. Movies are a big process!

When you sign up for the fan club you will get an initial mail letting you know the form you submitted worked, then I will send you mail very, very sporadically. Hey—it’s a work in progress! As for mail, it is a fickle system that often results in people accusing me of not sending anything. Whatever!

Q:   Wazzup Alf! How’s bussiness for you in the Rehab? You should have a question of the month or something like that. That would be cool. I have 2 questions, please answer them! Thank-you. See you around! —Anthony

Alf:  Oh boy. Questions. I can hardly wait. Hold me back. Hold….me…….back. Hey—did he just call me round?

1. What are the requirments of becoming the fan of the month?

Alf:  You must never have asked, “What are the requirements of becoming fan of the month?”.

2. What kind of meat is in the meat sacks?

Alf: Mystery Meat. You may have tried it at your local cafeteria.

Q:   I have a few questions for you:

1. Who is the Chronicler, and is he the one who writes the “storydweller” story stones?

Alf:   The Chronicler is an accountant. He doesn’t have anything to do with writing. He’s a left brainer.

2. Will any of the Oddworld heroes actually meet the queens? I’ve seen pictures of them, well apart from Skillya…

Alf:   You saw pictures of them? I am so, so sorry. I mean I know I can be a little sarcastic at times, and well, maybe a bit rude and cranky, but no one should be exposed to that level of punishment. On behalf of all the Inhabitants, again, I am so incredibly sorry. Really. Oh Odd, how could this have happened……….

3. Do you have any plans to give PS owners Munch when a better console comes out, PS3 for example? Because it would be able to handle the grapihcs etc. If not, I think you should listen to that idea, it would make many fans happy!

Alf: Nope, no plans.

A dedicated fan, drakan90

Alf: Do you make that cologne? Drakan Noir? Good stuff.

Q:   Dear Alf, I was wondering about Abe’s Mom. At the end of Abe’s Exodus, it said that the next game would introduce her but you never see her in Munch’s Game? What gives?

Alf: What gives? No one gives anymore. It’s just take, take, take! Besides, why would ABE’s mom be in MUNCH’s game? That is what I would like to know!

Q:   Oddworld-Web: Abe hey this is abester i have 3 questins 1 will abe be in further games 2 will elum be in further games3 howcome you and abe like never have a pet like a scrab or paramite or fuzzles or are elums and meetles your pet

Alf: 1. Maybe

2. Maybe

3. Pets = waste. Alf doesn’t do waste. Hey, you gotta draw the line somewhere.

Q:   Dear Alf, While I was watching Gulliver’s Travels and sitting amoungst my piles of dirty clothing and moldy week old pizza, I realized I was pretty darn hungry, and penicilin just wasn’t gunna cut it. So strangly enough I found myself ungluing myself from the TV and heading toward the fridge. Nothing there appeared edible, well unless you like glass jars or cinema hot dogs (stangly enough I hear people eat such things.) Anyway, I thought to myself, “What would be better right now than a Meech Munchie?” I went down to the store and I hear that they are extint! So I asked them for a Paramite Pie, but they were all out. I didn’t know what else there was, so I just went home, but when I got there the “Travels” were over. So my question comes in two parts: #1 Can you give me a list of all those tasty, delectable treats (some pictures whould be nice too) so I can properly decide what I can get at the store, and so I don’t miss my shows. and #2 Is it healthy to leave my TV alone for so long like that? I swear those 20 minutes were one of the most horrifing moments in all my life. Sincerly,
Chris “Hungry and Scared”

Alf: Dear Chris, You are in luck my friend! You can visit the Rupture Farms catalogue at http://www.Oddworld.com in the November 2002 archives. Outdated you say? Nay my friend… outstanding!

Q:   Does Phleg have acromegaly?

Alf:  Ok, lets not kid ourselves. The real question is, “does Alf have to look acromegaly up in the dictionary?” Well the answer is yes, as a matter of fact I do, as that is a very obscure medical reference that I personally have no interest in. The answer to the other, more superfluous question is no. Phleg does not have acromegaly. He just has a severe case of egostroke-e-osis. Oh yes. That, my fellow buds, is what I call linquistics in action.