Dear Alf #25

You ask for it, Alf sort of sends this thing that vaguely resembles a reply and almost never directly relates to an answer … But that’s why we love him. Take a gamble and send your questions to the old Alfster… you might get a reply! Just remember that the odds are always with the house, or in this case, the rehab!

They say the only dumb question is the one that doesn’t get asked. Well, I beg to differ. The dumb question is the one that gets asked OVER AND OVER AGAIN! So, before you write, check our list ofMost Frequently Asked Questions.

Q:   Hey Alf, Me and a few of the guys at The Forums are wondering something, what Abes loin cloth for?? I know its been asked sometime before, but Ive forgotten what you said. Someone actually thought that it has some kind of spiritual significance, but I assured him that skid marks would be the only out-of-the-ordinary thing about them, so we’re all kinda skeptical at the moment. Thanks if you help us out and we’ll see ya next time youre in chat….or something. —BigBro

Alf:  BigBro, Even skid marks are highly unlikely with a loincloth, as you should know, they don’t have a traditional crotch like your typical, modern-day undies. A loincloth is like a skirt, only without the feminine stigma earth folk so often attribute to skirts. (Think kilt.) The significance and purpose of the loincloth is both practical and fashionable. One doesn’t necessarily want his bum exposed to even his closest of buddies, and it has been known to get pretty chilly at times here in Mudos, so it is the most efficient way of keeping that area warm while still providing necessary mobility for the active, “Mud on the go”.

Q: I just completed Munchs Oddysee for the third time this time I rescued everything. I can’t wait until the next game could you answer a question for me, I found something on an oddworld fansite called Humshrubs that look like spooce but are pink do you know what happened to them? Are Slig Guard towers going to featured in future games? Thanks Shrykull68 

Alf:  “Humshrub” was a work-in-progress name for Spooce. They were later renamed and the color was changed. Why? Because! That’s why! That’s also why you’re not hearing too much about the next title. This way it will all be a big surprise, with no confusion or let down about what didn’t make it into the game.

Q:  Hi Alfster! If it doesn’t bother you, can you answer a few questions

1. In the next game, will Munch be able to communicate with Gabbits?

2. Is “Hand of Odd” a quintology game, or a bonus game?

3. Will you ever become a playable Character? Your own game perhaps?

4. Is Vykker Labs part of the Magog Cartel?

5. Once O.I. is finished the O.Q., will your games move to more multiplayer genres like racing, Fighting or even party?

Thanks a lot Bro. From Barnaby

Alf:  Hey Barnaby, It always bothers me, but I’ll get over it.

1. Well, I don’t know much about the next game, but since Munch IS a Gabbit, I don’t see any reason why he wouldn’t be able to communicate with them, unless that headport has affected his social skills in some way…

2. Hand of Odd is not yet.

3. Sometimes it’s better to be lovable than playable.

4. OI finish the OQ? FYI – I think your IQ needs some TLC! TTFN!

Q:   Hi alf I was wondering if well could you give me the cheat for the extra endings for M.O. I promise on all that is odd I won’t tell a soul unless you tell me to. In odd we trust .

Alf:   Yeah … in Odd we trust. Not in cheaters! No dice chump!

Q:   Hey Alf. I’ve this is gonna be the best Christmas ever,I got the OWI x-mas card in the mail.that was cool.plus I sneaked a peek at what I’m getting.so anyway, I was wondering, is the mudokon queen Sam ever going to make an appearance?

Alf:   Yes. Though when, where and to whom has yet to be decided.

Q:   I was just wondering if there is anything more powerful than a Shrykull? Furthermore, do you know when (or if) there is going to be a last game of Oddworld? (I hope not.) Your best fan, Dylan

Alf:   Hi Dylan, nothing that I know of is more spiritually powerful than a Shrykull. But it’s like anything, the answer is limited to my experience. There may be something more powerful than any of us can imagine lurking out there, just waiting for the right moment to reveal itself.

Q:  My name is Jeremiah. I have Abe’s Oddysee and Munch’s Oddysee. I was just wanting to ask a few questions:

1. Who is Squeek?

2. Whenever i’m controlling Mucnh and greet a Mudokon they just laugh at me. Why?

3. When Munch’s Oddysee was originaly planned for PS2 was there a new story line. And if so what was it?

Thanks for your time, Jerry

Alf:  1. A squeek is a short shrill cry or sound, such as that made by a mouse or rusty hinge, or a mudokon attempting to maintain composure while answering the most annoying questions on all of Oddworld …

2. Because you’re funny lookin’.

3. The story stays the same but not all of was included. There were parts of Munch that will remain a mystery … at least for now.

Q:   I know the Glukkons manufacture a lot of products, but who buys them, because other Glukkons don’t seem like the buying type. Just wondering, Stranger. 

Alf:   Hey there, Stranger. Do you ever find yourself wondering, “who am I?”. Heh heh heh! Oh I crack me up.

Anyway, yeah, you’re right. Glukkons are not only stingy, but they know all the nasty stuff in the products they make. That’s why they count on the other creatures of Oddworld, coupled with mind-bending propaganda to earn their profits.

Q:   Hey Alf, its me once again. In Oddworld: Munch’s Oddysee, their are those Blitzpacker drinks, but in Oddworld: Abe’s Exoddus, there’s Soul Storm Brew. I know they are both bad and probably the same to you, but whats the difference? Are they 2 different, competing brands, a new-and-improved version, or what? Anyways, thanks for answering this, and happy holidays. SLIGcatcher

Alf: Hi SLIGcatcher. Blitzpacker is a beverage power up for possessed sligs, while SoulStorm Brew is the Glukkon’s drink of choice for addicting and controlling the Mudokon race. See the difference?

Q:   Which mud are you? Are you the one that pushes Abe into the big-well?

Alf:  Let’s be clear about that so-called “pushing” scenario. I merely gave my buddy Abe a gentle, encouraging pat on the back, like any good friend would. Abe, being clumsy and of course subconsciously wanting to go into the big well, FELL at the same time as the gentle pat. OK? Got it? Or do I need to be a good friend to you, too? Huh? Well do I?

Q:   Hay Alf! I just wanted to know some stuff about the Glukkon Queen and why Abe doesn’t attack her.

Alf:  Hay-ay! Alfie in the Hay-ouse! Whudup? Hey, here’s an idea: Why don’t you just go and attack the ruthless and oppressive leader of another race? It’s not easy, there is planning, tactical training, and brew induced confidence that has to be achieved prior to such attacks!

Q:   Dear Alf my favorite mud, Hows it going man any new female muds you got your eye on? Well enough of the formal talk I was wondering who wrote all the poetry that Abe says in his games? Was it Bigface or Raisin perhaps anyway whoever wrote it maybe OWI can publish all the poetry and stuff in a book and maybe even some fan poetry like the stuff found on the site….that might be a good idea for merchandizing eh taking some money out from the glukkons greedy paws or wait umm whatever they hold their money with.

Alf:  Have you ever seen a female mud? Bluckhhhaaaaaaa! They aren’t as attractive as you may think! Anyway, Abe isn’t reciting poetry in the games, he is narrating, speaking from his heart! He is the one who spoke the poems that you heard. (I don’t even know if he can write, but if he can, I’ll ask him to make a book of them!)

Q:   hey alf! your my fav mud. i have a simple question, what are the dominant species on oddworld, i always like to think it were the glukkons who i have the honour to serve … but i guess they are not, maybe you know? terry the slig

Alf:  Well, it depends on the point in history that we are talking about. I believe it is the waxing and waning of the moons that causes the rise and fall of these cultures; it causes the tide, it makes the weirdos come out, and no one else seems to have a better explanation. And with multiple moons, well, things get pretty crazy around here!

Q:   Alf, yer just the greatest 🙂 First of all, that book you are holding in you’re hand on the photo of you …yes, that’s right,the one just over, yup thats it. Can I see it? Let me take a different approch. Can you guy’s at OWI write a few books for puplishing? I would looove to sit down with a nice fairy tale about Oddworld. Not that I have anything against Fan Fiction, but it’s just not the same thing. It’s not as “real” (ahem). So, Alfie, when you got some spare time, could you either write a novel or two or lend me that book you’re reading. Secondly, I would like a quick question. How come Abe has a tatoo on his chest in the cinematics and not in the game? (That would be Abe’s Exoddus, not Munch’s Oddysee).

Alf:  First of all, I know I am, now get over it! Abe’s tattoo? What’re your eyes stitched up or something? The tat is there. Maybe it’s just so dark in the mines that you can’t see it.

As for a book … Sure, I’ll write a book. Let’s see … I can pencil that in for tomorrow at … 3:30? Is that good for you? Assistant! Assistant! Get that on my books, will you? Yes, that’s right, tea at 3:00, write novel at 3:30, and tea again at 4:00. Thank you, dear. Now be gone with you filthy beast!

Q:   Hi, I was just at oddworld.com and it said to send an email here if you had a question about the website. I was just wondering how come there aren’t any Christmas pictures this year? I’ve been looking around and I can’t see any… The past few years there have been some really good ones and I was looking forward to seeing more this year. OK that’s my question. I’m sorry if I wasn’t supposed to send it here, I didn’t mean to waste your time. Thanks Kram (from Australia)

Alf:  Kram, you are all wasting my valuable tea drinking time, but I am loving and benevolent, so I carry on. You’re welcome. We wanted to post the Christmas pictures, but frankly they were all too inappropriate to be posted. You know that people watch the internet all the time, right now in fact. That is all I can say. I’ve already said too much. Out.

Q:   Dear Alf, in Exoddus how can you tell which mud you are in the desert scene? One more thing can Munch, Abe and his fellow mud’s survive really high falls, because in Munch’s Odysee Abe can chuck his fellow Mud’s and Munch from really high platforms or buildings without them getting hurt, and speaking of Abe chucking his fellow mud’s can the mud’s jump for themselves or does Abe need to pick them up and throw them?Thanks Alf, I’m a fan of you and the Oddworld Universe.

Alf: I am the severely dehydrated one. When not dehydrated, Mudokons have amazing rubber-like qualities that prevent them from injury. And yes, we can jump for ourselves, but muds are like little children. When you are in a hurry, sometimes it’s just easier and faster to DO IT FOR THEM!

Q:   Hi Alf, seeing as Munch’s Oddysee is exclusive to XBOX, Why can”t GW make a shorter cheaper game exclusive to PS2?

Alf:  So you are requesting a shorter, cheaper “Munch-Lite”? Let me explain something to you: short and cheap, BAD. Full length and quality, GOOD.

Q:   Hi Alf, it’s me again. Could you PLEASE tell me how the industrial facilities are built and who builds them? Does it take a long time, because those factories are HUGE! Thanks, Phlibbo

Alf:  Slave labor, mostly. The more slaves you have, the less time it takes. The industrialists love to waste materials too, thus they “super size” there facilities. The more trees they can cut and the more rivers they can pollute, the bigger they feel.

Q:   I know Glukkons and Vykkers produce their…products…to make moolah. To make moolah you have to have customers. It doesn’t seem like the Mudokons would be their only source of income. Who are the other customers? Or am i just utterly wrong, and the Mudokons support the bad guys bank accounts?

Alf:  I suppose YOU’VE never bought anything that supported anyone but good doers! See if you can make clear consumer decisions while your mind is reeling from the case of brew you just drank! We didn’t always know what was in those products! We thought if it tasted good, it must be good! That’s what the commercials all said. I want my mommy!

Q:   How come the blind mudokon on Abe’s Exoddus(where you drank all that brew)fell down a hole, was there 301 Muds and if you can’t answer this, ask Abe or Lorne L.

Alf:  Lorne says I don’t have to answer any more if I don’t want to. He says I can have tea and a biscuit and take a nap.

‘Till next time, this is the number one Mud that ain’t no dud — so when you have a question and need the direct line to information central, don’t forget to ask Dear Alf!